Tired And Tried

I need to decide and choose soon. I tried to do it in the shower, because you know you always make major life decisions during shower, like how you aim to never get a pimple for the rest of the month or more serious things you know, like what to do with the phone you found today in the school canteen etc. I think best when under the blasting lines of water pouring into my face, especially when the water gets so hot it becomes unbearable and discomforting, it helps me think less and quick. Less and quick less and quick.

This week I realize how important it is that opposites attract each other, but in a way that they complement and make up for all the other areas in which their counterpart lacks. So when you find that you stop tolerating, stop listening, stop explaining, stop trying, you know you have become too similar. I guess the quote never worked the other way for a reason.

I am becoming dull, I feel it in my bones. My heart literally pierces itself whenever I am near people who matter. I might have depression, although everyone tells me how happy I look these days. I might be doing okay, although I come back here often. But when I am here, I try to be okay, I try to be okay, because I am more often than not, not.